Wanted

Box of Blanks


Russian director Timur Bekmambetov harvested well deserved and definite attention via his 2004 effort Nighwatch or Nochnoy Dozor, an authentic Russian horror tale you could chew through risk freely with gratitude intact, leaving you to wonder if Bekmambetov's next delivery will remain faithful to this genre of lightweight tale-poetry written with blood. Surely, it remained as such: Nochnoy Dozor had a less successful sequel in 2006 which I did not check out yet, - meaning the sequel, I am almost entirely sure that I checked out 2006, though - while lately - as of Summer, 2008 - he was working on Wanted, a loose motion picture adaptation of the comic with the same title by Mark Millar and J. G. Jones.

This is the first mainstream occasion by which Bekmambetov relies on famous American actors to offer a cinematic output, yet he commits a "very nice series" of mistakes. The most blatant one of those is this: Wanted's protagonist turns invisible beside supportive heavyweights Angelina Jolie - SIC! - and Morgan Freeman. This transparent gentleman, called James McAvoy is a terrible, terrible actor in my opinion, and I must say that a hypothetical assumption which would let me know that I won't ever have to endure him in a motion picture statement - would NOT be the biggest strike I suffered so far. In an ideal world, James McAvoy and Michael Angarano could do battle against each other to see who the WORSTEST actor is, your Referee: The Matthew Fox!

There is little time to yest, jokes and laughter though when you are about to check Wanted out, as this here output acts as a rather angry dog that is about to ruthlessly beat your butt - yet, sadly: Wanted never bites - just barks, at best.



No reason to panic, however: as I do try to hint delicately by the image above, Wanted will give you Angelina with shotgun, will give you her with other different equipments suitable to take a toll on human existence, most importantly: she will give you the badass sista' from a video game attitude all throughout the movie. All in all: she delivers a solid performance as far as such a trite role module could let one deliver. You could tell the same qualities about Morgan Freeman, though he does not play a female character. Or at least I failed to notice that tremendously. Freeman always gives solid support as a sidekick, Wanted is no exception. Despite its risk-and thrill-free starting assumptions - see Below - the movie feels semi-acceptable when you witness the supportive cast, but it's a mild pain in the butt to watch and hear James McAvoy inventing his very next panic attack, giving you the: "oh shit! oh shit! oh shit!" all the time - a pain that is about to worsen considerably, mind you I.

Wanted starts off craving effect with high octane, delivering a very flat and rudimentary joke to gain your sympathy. It's McAvoy speaking about his dire job and his anorexic boss - and the picture shows a big woman of monumental proportions, sitorgan included. That was a haha! and even a hehe!, no doubt. This is why it is funny: so, he says his boss is anorexic - but, haha!, hehe!, in reality, she is NOT! She is FAT! Haha!, hehe! Can't help but notice when a movie redefines the term: humor, yes?

I am sorry but even McAvoy's voice is an annoyance. The dude emphasizes every single word in an unnatural fashion in order to sound more badass, (??) more convincing or more miserable, - somewhat succeeding in this regard - yet the eventual impression I end up with remains of an actor with very mild talent who struggles to deliver quality in a sync studio. Listen how he says the word "keyboard". That one gives me the creeps. As I notice, this kind of narrative overkill is a common shortcoming in recent efforts, but now it gets sorrowfully effective at shattering the illusion - especially when overkill is delivered by such a transparent canvas guy as McAvoy is.

The director would surely tell us that McAvoy Sucks with a Higher Purpose: he might even say that: "Hey! McAvoy is YOU!", while relief will surely arrive as it turns out that your heritage is much more important than you ever thought it was! You are NOT the office worker! You do NOT wait in line when you go to clubs! You are SPECIAL! YES! Like EVERYONE ELSE! What you thought was your incapacity, is in fact a HUGE, rampant POWER within you that is ready to be UNLEASHED if you learn to CONTROL it, and, to top all of that: bla, bla, bla, bla, bla and yaddiyaddida.



A woman is never safe at the Chocolate Section.

I realize I may have sounded very negative on these basic motives, I confess it was partly conscious. Let us notice that there are quite a few movies out there with the exact same assumptions, yet, what troubles me considerably is a lurking fear that terrifying actors like Michael Angarano and James McAvoy will dominate this lightweight genre via the twisted agenda some directors do seem to follow these days. The agenda, as it seems to me, is this: "let's present a truly sucky character to them whom they can totally relate to via their own miserable lives." Please, don't call me paranoid just yet, as what other explanation than this shall we find that justifies the utilization of an actor - McAvoy - with close-to sub-zero canvas presence?



Your Hero, your Protagonist, James McAvoy. Check this laughable One Penny Expression!



Another "classic" look from McAvoy. Interested in Larger Than Life Posters of this? No? WHY NOT?

I notice we hardly spoke about the synopsis so far, so let us deliver: when frustrated McAvoy finds out about his amazing heritage, he gets under the wings of The Fraternity organization, a highly confidential secret society with Freeman in charge. Angelina Jolie is a primal soldier of the organization in question. The Fraternity itself is the same Vampire - The Masquerade ripoff you have seen in the Blade or Underground movies: the secret octopus, lurking among puny humans and fearsome demons, struggling to maintain the Balance and to keep Chaos at bay. Naturally, little, if any humans do know how these secret societies control them! Muhahaha! As for The Fraternity, they follow an ancient, secret, well-hidden Code in order to make the world a better place to be, and they battle against the Evils whom would prefer a world kept in the dark. Or! Do they battle indeed? And, do the others prefer a dark world, indeed?

Frankly speaking, Wanted is quite laughable: the first portion of the movie does give you a decent car chase with Angelina - though the annoying McChicken whines-moans beside her all the while - a sequence of solid stunts that even delivers inventive elements. Notice the "Sit Into The Car Please!" stunt, so to speak. That was a very inventive idea, nicely presented, as well. The output's second major chunk gives you the immensely tiresome "Please Teach Me How To Fight!" sequence we all know from the Karate Craze of the '90s. In Wanted, though: you do not throw punches, you throw - pretty much literally - bullets. I am sure the creators find their ideas amazing, I find it, sorry about that: inept.

Main attraction of the movie is this: picture you hit a punching bag with an overhand right, yet you have a revolver in your hand. Now, pull the trigger when your hand/revolver connects with the imaginary punching bag. Truly, these are the amazing steep moments Wanted will try to sedate you with: people punching the air with revolvers in hand. Extra: you can curve the trajectory of the bullet, IF YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN!

Spoiler starts: McAvoy will believe! Spoiler ends.

As stated, this second portion that thoroughly accounts the training process of the protagonist, is, in my opinion, rather stale, yet the third segment fortunately delivers an elegant plot twist to spice the narrative up virtually. JUST virtually, though. I do sorrowfully reckon that the subtle twist serves you the exact same conclusion you already anticipated from the very start.

Spoiler starts: in the conclusion period, McAvoy will shoot up zillions of people with zillions of laughable expressions on his face, showing off his amazing gunslinging- and bullet-trajectory bending capabilities! Spoiler ends.

To me, Wanted does not seem weighty of a movie enough to call it a "decent disappointment," let us instead regard it as Bekmambetov's first attempt to serve and stimulate the suspected needs and interests of an even wider audience. I think though that he failed blatantly this time around, and I am almost entirely sure that the Nochnoy Dozor direction was-, and, in fact, still is more serious and more hotter than this one. Wanted a shallow effort? You got that RIGHT here, baby.

If you enjoyed this here article, check out my comic: Planetseed
If you are to circulate magnificently pleasant vibrations: Buy me Beer