The Shepherd - Border Patrol

I'ms ALWAYS Cans Kicks Ye Downs!

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There was a time which by Belgian Action-and Martial Arts Icon Jean-Claude Van Damme was among the hottest things, though, similarly to the Modern Talking phenomena, you naturally had the chance to make a secret of, or even ruthlessly deny that YES, you are among the Primal Enjoyers of Modern Talking and of Jean-Claude Van Damme's roughly annual movie deliveries.

That was a significant cinema period of the '90s in my opinion, looking forward what theme and setting Van Damme comes up with next, though you could be sure that his character will massively be the same, essentially a character-cliché which though you WANTED to see in a Van Damme movie: the good looking Lone Wolf Mofo who is always aware of and ready to deliver the flawless oneliner to remain intact in all aspect and in all situations a real man can conceive or must face. And:

Who Kicks down Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere. With: Ease.

If and when: needed. And need always have risen in a Van Damme movie, as we had chance to witness. Jean-Claude made a zillion outputs with this particular basic premise, and guess what: he continues to do so, and I would have around 0 - me means: ZIRO - problem with that, granted his latest action movies would be as decent efforts as I hoped them to be. Following his semi-convincing mediocre action movie - cite that I, herein: a semi-convincing mediocre action movie at best - Until Death by the year 2007, Van Damme delivers The Shepherd, and steadily claims the two onions without exhibiting even a slight aspiration for a third. Let us see what we have now, and what we are up to soon.

Unfortunately, this movie sucks considerably. Amazingly 'nuff, Van Damme gives you a Badass Duder who works as a Border Patrol Commander or what not, and he gets transferred to the USA / Mexican Border where ex-Navy Seals are trying to smuggle drugs to North America. You know you are in Mexico because Van Damme's new boss is a highly temperamental Tacco Sista'. She always knows how to disarm inferior men both verbally and physically if needed. No wonder, as there are but two types of men for her: inferior and highly inferior. (Of course later Van Damme will seduce the Tacco Sista'.)

It will shock you to the core when I am to inform you that prior to the highly uninteresting seduction process of the immensely irritative female sidekick - who always knows how to disarm men, did I mention that? - Van Damme finds out WHO and HOW exactly smuggles the drug, gains confirmation that he himself has a rather personal involvement to claim both Justice or/and Revenge, thus he finds and follows the usual motivational package to deliver you the usual action-attractions that are at the verge of begging for your apology for robbing you out of good old 70 minutes. Amazingly, Jean-Claude kicks down many bad guys and even shoots from his shotgun! which he finds in the film! Staggering stuff, folks!



I's NEEDS more sleeping pills!

Van Damme got famous with the VHS Wave via his 1988 classic Blood Sport, and made the highly defendable clone movies afterwards - while the formula never changed during the years, Van Damme have changed a LOT in the long run. A long run to arrive to 2008, a year posing a growing challenge to authentically sell out the good looking Lone Wolf Mofo who kicks down Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere. More precisely: it is not yet a problem to Van Damme to sell THAT out. Now it is a problem for you to eat that in, you see. Man, I hope Jean-Claude Van Damme won't be the Second Most Frightening Man on Earth, following of course Chuck Norris at the Throne the Texas Ranger reigns so proudly and deservedly at.



Time is a bitch, even a biatch. Currently Van Damme looks like someone who is realizing all this the hard way, yet at least he is not afraid to show or to admit, which are traits that I highly admire. Van Damme feels out as more and more flat and pointless with these massively repetitive efforts and corresponding genre he is so desperately, and maybe: sorrowfully? sticks for.

Van Damme is closing on on 50 now and seems to me that he had rough 'nuff of a time in the past 15 years, I guess mainly worshipping the classic Consensus Secret Ideal. Yes. That he will face consecutive decades without the aging process claiming the toll on his body. Now would be a superb time to deliver a movie to emphasize his solid acting abilities opposed to these kick-arounds, so let us anticipate his next installment called JCVD. I wonder what those letter might mean.

Truly not much is left to say. Van Damme currently makes the exact films that earned him his popularity and reputation, while the formula itself have it's intense ups and downs. This here effort The Shepherd - Border Patrol is probably the worst Van Damme film I endured so far. I tend to think that Jean-Claude was massively unsatisfied with the result as well, thus I do look forward in the most fervent and enthusiastic manner to see what goods JCVD will deliver, as the work in question has a solid promise and immense of a chance of taking a massive detour from the usual Van Damme recipe, instead will present - hopefully - The Man behind The Van Damme. I do look forward to it, and remain an evident fan of Jean-Claude. What else could I do? Blood Sport is among the films I know word by word. And this is NOT because I had the lines written down.



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