Torments of Tormentors
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According to this here product's cutely calculated tagline: This Christmas there will be no peace on Earth. If one is so reckless as to avoid these heeding words, then the poster solidifies it's statement via visualizing the TWO main reasons we possibly may have to trick ourselves into false prior notions of how this act of celluloid molestation reigns in position of definite must-see metaentity. After all: it features Aliens and it does feature Predators, too! You CAN'T call yourself an Alien or Predator fan and miss this one out, yes?
In the original, dare we say: authentic Alien and Predator films, isolation from the outer world is of key importance and driving factor, promising and provoking an inevitable turning point where man is forced to face rampant fear or will surely be devoured via his own incapacity to confront what is so deadly and unknown to him. Well, the "creative" force behind the AVPR Requiem introduces the mythic pair of fiction terror excellence to the fluent territories of Mother Earth.
Though the staggeringly weak realization factor of this concept poses a zero threat degree to the timeless meritoriousness of the original fictions this film quite hopelessly grasps at, the factual existence of AVPR Requiem remains a sour testament nevertheless of how a flick may whisper lies about quality fictional content, and offer but the most insignificant, faceless garbage of it.
I sorrowfully reckon that the AVP motion picture production line - and cite that I, herein: the motion picture line - did not yet show any intention to seriously and soulfully touch upon the fictional delicacies we know, remember and fear as the the Alien and the Predator. Does that sound like the usual geek talk to you? As I see it, it damn better should sound like that, as we shall never forget that the reasons we regard these sci-fi entities as two of the most significants that popular culture invented are the sheer seriousness and the bizarre believeability they pose both through the extremely well developed fictional buildup and the masterful renditions of the environments they run amok in.
It is worth mentioning that the mere concept of merging the two extraterrestrial lifeforms is originating from the video game industry, where the AVP direction hosts quite a few excellent horror games of different genres, main flagships of this line are the PC First Person Shooter titles in which we have chance to experience Aliens and Predators, and do that on both side of the shotgun, too.
What works superbly as a concept for video games, shows now-evident signs of a blatant lack of willingness to develop the fictions on the movie side, yet naturally this should be the premium medium to sew the fabric of these great horror tales together unto as a serious of a sci-fi statement as it's prime originators. This is hardly the case and the agenda though, unfortunately. The latest installment of the AVP movie series - now having two episodes that frankly, suck tremendously - chooses to utilize the same equation the series used to sell out it's first supershallow delivery, yet again unleashing the degree of textbook mediocrity which is though vast enough to painfully fail even towards it's very own weightless ambitions and compromised appeals. If you think you had the chance before to see actors performing on improbably low acting levels: reconsider.
You can't possibly go below the character and acting standards shown and utilized in this film, in fact, I find all actors of AVPR Requiem steadily, safely bad 'nuff to regard the whole lineup as one humongous anticastfoam, an unfortunate hive-entity composed of otherwise probably very talented individuals, yet they exhibit such low caliber of canvas presence that I guarantee that you will wish you would have seen nothing but fight sequences between Aliens and Predators, no matter if the program time is reduced by that 40 or so minutes you are forced to spend watching clueless people undergoing their casting processes. Failed casting processes.
As far as the suspense buildup goes, AVPR Requiem offers a decent starting statement of how the extraterrestrials end up on Earth, but the promising anticipation factor gets threatened quickly by focusing further attention on exquisitely shallow character drama, taking place on a painfully poorish image of Earth's future. A future which probably tries to mask itself sober and intelligent, but ends up being evidently low budget, characterized by awkward clumsiness and lack of inventiveness to show meritorious ideas and insights of possible perspectives from distant times.
This is not a fortunate turn, not at all, as the fabric of the movie fails tremendously to make us care for it's main characters or even for this empty, tasteless future it reveals. The moment the Aliens and the Predator - some baaadass Main Predator he is, by the way - get at it and start to pick the scenery apart via fighting each other, the flick behaves as every other semi-mediocre action buildup we had chance to witness, thus offering the considerate amount of zero peek moment or memorable surprises, not to mention the incomprehensible absence of precious scare elements, something these fiction originals are well recognized and praised of.
The aspect we are to sympathize with on the emotional/suspense side narrows down to your everyday party of desperate, weightless characters, female armed with massive boobs and statements of improbable significance (actual quote: "Weeee won't make it, will weeeee?") and the superaverage hero type character whom face you will never remember: included. Even worse: the fight scenes are not that great, either. Not on the part of where and how they are taking place, and not on the part of how they go down. I am not likely to spoil your viewing experience by telling you that AVPR Requiem relies heavily on a particular Alien symbiote which possesses key attributes both of the Predator and the Alien race, but, save for the undoubtedly decent look of the creature - has the general feel as the original Alien drone though - it introduces no relevant ideas and offers no thrilling concepts of it's own possibilities.
Through this evident lack of intention to add something to the original fiction buildups, AVPR Requiem reveals and solidifies it's sly philosophy of selling out the very same conflict we have seen, only this act is being committed second time now by the AVP motion picture products. But I tell you this: the moment an Alien or Predator or even another Aliens vs Predator film is about to hit the market, it's seriousness as a fictional work should certainly be inspected by what ideas can it enrich these great horror tales with? Is there an urge and willingness at all to approach to these entities as: due?
The Alien and Predator tales both demand seriousness to effectively continue, as seriousness and devoted respect to sober, inventive popular science fiction were the prior circumstances they developed, and still, without a doubt: reigning upon. Now they cluelessly, uncomfortably stagnate in these recent sci-fi mockeries we shall fear and beware as the AVP motion picture series, ending up as your everyday merchandise element on heavy duty water pump weaponry, but remembering and longing for the fiction excellence that gave birth to them.
Let us wish for them, and hope their fearsome return!
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Saturday, February 2, 2008
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