(a good old fashioned beating on) Wall-E

Math of Emotion

Wall-E is 111% professionalism, THEN some more. This is the animation that has a perfect understanding of a consensus stock-psyche, thus the installment pulls you through a series of mathematics spontaneity, each coming to you via masterful calculations, eager to - effectively - toll your strictly expected reactions for the precise outlines of complex emotions. Emotions presented with all the risk free tones of a pink ink, spilled with pinpoint accuracy on a risk free pink canvas.


Wall-E offers no minutes, seconds, not even stolen nanoseconds to any form of freedom you could longing for as an appreciator of this solid CG accomplishment. You are not granted the fluidity to interpret the happenings on the screen in any other way than the way they ARE happening by indeed. Each movement and/or vibe you see or feel on the canvas is placed in front of you because of crystal clear intent. Yet, in reality, Wall-E offers but a harshly limited set of the usual, radical CG emotions, making sure though to squeeze and present the holy pink frick out of them, THEN some more. (For your amusement, by the way.)

The vibes Wall-E collides you with are already declared rigorously, you are but the mirror that will justify how precisely the intended emotions are sought for, how precisely they are provoked out of you. Remember, you are the viewer and you will be tolled for your empathy. Surely, you will laugh when you are wanted to submit to laugh. Surely, you will feel pity when you are wanted to submit to feel pity. This all should be normal. Causing emotions is crucial aspect of art. Wall-E though, I think, does little more than overkills, rapes the usual CG emotions via a perfect understanding of them. And you, as viewer, end up as living justification of how flawless of an understanding of superficial emotional channels the creators do possess.

You will render the emotions, as will the other viewers in the audience. You will endure the same dramaturgical fabric you have seen a 642387462384 times before. While this extremely strait field of interpretation could be viewed as the narrative strength of this animation, in total, Wall-E does not yet aspire, and, as such: naturally does not succeed at presenting more complex emotions than what you already have seen being delivered by the genre on numerous occasions.

At the end of the day, Wall-E is a reasonably solid CG beast taking you by the neck, forcing you to lick up all the foam of risk free, pre-calculated fun and risk free, pre-calculated melancholy it brings to the - presumably - risk free table. It makes sure that the color of your memory of it, and that of the secret inner puke you will deny it caused to eject out of you in a weak moment of escapist realization - will conform nicely to the commanding shade of this installment. Math of Emotion, baby. Pink math of pink emotion to be specific.

Oh, and in case you have wondered, Wall-E is a masterfully calculated and carefully synthesized torpedo of risk free fun for the Whole Family. No irony here at all. And this is the problem, too.

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